My advice

This advice is given based on my experiences and those of others in similar circumstances.  You know your own situation best and should not take steps to which you are overly fearful of the outcome unless you are prepared for any eventuality.  The advice is what I personally now think best for me, i.e. the route I should have taken, and certainly the most honourable path.

Be honest with yourself as to whom and what you are.  Also with what you true desires are, there is no point hiding from them as I believe they will never go away.

Be completely honest and open with your partner.  If this is not possible due to their beliefs, or your interpretation of such try to move to a position where you can be more honest.  In discussion with other GG partners I have found that it is the deceit that is the hardest thing for them to accept.

Don’t try to compete on femininity terms, at least at first.   I want to be very much a girlie girl but this made Sarah question herself in the beginning.  Let your partner accept you as a girl in the first instance.  Don’t lie, tell the truth but be considerate in how you dress and act.

Be the partner they chose.  They chose you as a man and you should be as such for them if you wish your relationship to continue.  It’s a compromise and a very worthwhile one.

Be empathetic.  Try to understand what they are going through and the loss they feel.  They do not particularly wish to inherit a girlfriend; they want their man.  They feel that their relationship is over and that they have no future.  It is to be accepted that the new relationship will be different but the man-woman love can and should still be there.

Listen at length.  Your partner will be telling you how she feels and you want to be heard about your wishes and desires, hence so should she.

Don’t rush into being the girl you wanted in one long dash for freedom.  Take it slowly and always maintain a dialogue.  If the love in your relationship is maintained and your partner still knows she has her man, then her love for you may well allow her to help you on your way.

Do join TG support groups on the internet as there is a wealth of advice out there.  Many, many couples go through the exact same thing.  Also gently encourage your partner to do the likewise as many partner groups also exist.

If possible meet up with others, both of you if you can.  It really does help to actually meet others who have travelled the road.

Guidance counselling such as Relate might also help you both.

Be prepared that your partner might never accept the way that you are or wish to be.  It is always a danger that this may be a crossroads or even fork in your relationship.